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[05 May 2005|07:31pm] I spilled my guts dont'y you know I'd "KILL FOR YOU" through years and broken hearts I bled it true yet every drop of faith becomes a sea of pain the storm on the view a darkness over me dead from the onset and I can't break free I spilled my guts did you think I'd "CRY FOR YOU?" through years and broken hearts I bled it true TRUE! TRUE! his hearts not true knives in my back stabbing till the end it's all just a lie and you're just a lie love has no meaning when there's nothing left inside. 1 | so this is what you call love?

[24 Apr 2005|01:55am] i got a new lj, add it, if i didnt already add you. lettersof_love 14 | so this is what you call love?

[23 Apr 2005|02:10pm] ( looky. ) 10 | so this is what you call love?

[23 Apr 2005|12:08pm] i really hope all this lasts, i knwo if i put my all into it and stop holding back the fear i have it will. i just dont want to be hurt, or lied too, and i dont want to cry anymore. i am the most senstive person i think i know and it really gets the best of me. and i also want to try and restore my faith. i know ive lost it to something pathetic and that kills me. its weird how when i try and talk to people about it they're like you? your athiest. and really im not. but whatever. i hope everyone has a nice day. i know i am going to . i <3 my oby more than anything and i know hes what i need to help me with some of this. 3 | so this is what you call love?

[22 Apr 2005|03:44pm] im happy that everything is working out the way it did. i know that everything happens for a reason, so why should i change it? i have this feeling and its a good one, wait make that a great one. i love it. i wake up with it everyday and i go to sleep with it everynight. i smile constantly and i think about him constantly. over a month of non-stop seeing eachother and i just hope he doesnt get bored of me. i cant explain exactally the way i feel, i wish i could, but theres are no words that could ever describe it. i just kinda hate how my sister is living here again. theres so much temptation and old habits here now. i dont want myself to sink back into that hole. and i also dont want to get hurt again... 9 | so this is what you call love?

[21 Apr 2005|02:33pm] Vanilla scented sky the candlelight can only show so much we can let our hands see what our eyes can't You breathe softly And move in slow motion We keep a firm grip on this moment Cuz it will never last as long as we want it to So let's make the best of a great situation I think I'll start at your ears Work my way down to your neck Roll over your collarbone End up at your chest Hipbones are calling my name Only I can hear their plea Serve as handles for the night Skin like silk becomes slippery Let's make the best of a great situation Like every good story here must be an end It's the only way we can relive this again So let it go and wave goodbye Happiness is a handful of days away It's easier to count the days than hours We learned that the hard way The number is lesser in value And easier to swallow 2 | so this is what you call love?

[21 Apr 2005|02:25pm] so i basically didnt get anything out of the testing other than 10 brightly colored pictures and a movie experience. 2 | so this is what you call love?

[20 Apr 2005|09:55pm] love is every color 4 | so this is what you call love?

[19 Apr 2005|04:27pm] ( its all gone wrong or so it appears. ) 15 | so this is what you call love?

[19 Apr 2005|01:55pm] words are meaningless and forgetable. 2 | so this is what you call love?

[19 Apr 2005|12:07pm] i ate alot today during testing. um.. i dont know.. 5 | so this is what you call love?

[17 Apr 2005|03:58pm] yesterday sucked at first. my stepd dad kept like confusing me when i was driving and then my mom was yelling at me at the same time and i got horribley frusterated. i have no idea why but all day yesterday i just wanted to cry. i hate when i get in the mood. but oh well. i waited around for awhile. and i was ognna go see the amittyville horror but me and ben descided to stay here and watch a movie. we watched vanilla sky. ha and im a jerk =) what can i say? haha. ben fell asleep for awhile and DROOLED ALL OVER MY PILLOW. haha but i didnt mind one bit. um and today me and my mom went shoe shopping. i got 3 new pairs of shoes and i even got some bro hoe sandals heck yes. and ive just been sitting here all day bore dout of my mind. then later im going to flood with my boy. so that should be good. mmhmm. 2 | so this is what you call love?

[16 Apr 2005|06:42pm] OASIS IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH AND ITS NEAR MY BIRTHDAY =) 3 | so this is what you call love?

[14 Apr 2005|10:30pm] well today just blew. definatly syked about europe though. like extremely. umm boys show was tonight. so i went to that. stayed for a ocuple of bands then left. ahh the high light of my night was dancing with raya to michelle branch. and tryingt o learn how to do the scizor. people are lame. but im over it. my whole day consisted of me feelings: tired, happy,mad, infurated,wanting to killsomeone, happy,worried,anxious, and then back to tired. goodnight sand diego. 7 | so this is what you call love?

[14 Apr 2005|02:32pm] and the number just keeps getting higher. so this is what you call love?

[14 Apr 2005|06:22am] god i was so tired yesterday, i have no idea why. sorry benjamin. um tonights my boys show so im going to that. so yea. ahh i dont want to go to school. and im not going to bed early anymore because it doesnt help. so this is what you call love?

[12 Apr 2005|09:20pm] dhbf2bevksebfvcs,mnorh wanna see my telescope? 2 | so this is what you call love?

[12 Apr 2005|03:09pm] that earthquake scared the heck out of me. i thought somebody was bombing my house for sure. then i couldnt go back to sleep for like ahour a strated thinking about the world hahaha iwas like half way asleep so whatever. dont ever call me drunk again. im like ah, in this wierd mood right now. it kinda sucks.. but oh well, right? i painted a picture of you on the back of my eyelids, so even when i blink, i dont lose sight of you. 12 | so this is what you call love?

[10 Apr 2005|08:47am] ( pictures from along time ago. ) 17 | so this is what you call love?

[09 Apr 2005|06:37pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | modest mouse- the good times are killing me ] i miss skye and jessica. like alot... i miss staying out til 3 and not sleeping. i miss being spontanious and going everywhere we can. hell i even miss getting stranded in alipne at 2 in the morning. knowing i was going to be alright because i was with them. i miss our crazy crazy times. our cant even remember times. our "shopping" trips. our "midnight bowling" trips. i miss having to kick down the door to get into the house.. i miss yelling the "N" word at 3 in morning down shady lane. i miss the smell of ciggarettes burning all night long. i miss all the inside jokes.. i miss the cuddleing.. and msot of all i miss all the rumors made about us three..haha.. the good times are killing me. the good times are killing me. the good times are killing me. the good times are killing me. 5 | so this is what you call love?

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